Charming endings - about magical ways to break up

 Love is beautiful and wonderful, but unfortunately it is not always eternal. Even the most passionate feeling can burn out. If it ends on both sides it is not a problem, people part ways keeping the memory in their hearts of a fiery passion or a sincere relationship. Even if love turns into hatred it is not a problem, because ex-lovers simply throw themselves into each other's arms to get oblivion. The problem, however, is when two people are driven by completely different feelings, when love is extinguished on one side only. When we love someone we give them our heart, and with a painful break-up we find that we are condemned to a life without a heart, and although this is only a metaphor the pain and suffering of the abandoned lover is as real as it gets.

The relationship between two people is a fusion of their energies, even if one person falls out of love, the other continues to be stuck in an emotional relationship. An energetic imbalance occurs. One person takes their energy away, but the other person who is not ready to separate does not do so - so they condemn themselves to an energetic deficit. Help in such a situation can be sought in magic. Of course, it is not essential, because people who do not believe in or rely on magic also regain peace of mind after a while, but it undoubtedly takes much longer. Every person deals with a broken heart differently. One can lie in bed and cry, and one can throw oneself into the arms of ever more fleeting lovers. Often, however, this leads to committing foolishness, because our view of things is clouded. It is safer, therefore, to use magic - not to keep your partner with you by force, but to let him or her go and yourself regain harmony and the possibility of falling in love again.

The obvious thing to do is to get rid of all objects that are associated with the former partner. Leaving yourself mementos will never be a good decision. If for some reason your partner hasn't taken all their belongings with them, for example clothes or photos, let's not worry but simply throw them away. The space you are in plays a huge part in the magic, so do not let it distract you or arouse bad emotions, especially if they are related to the person who hurt you and for whom you want to perform the ritual. Both a redecorating according to feng shui principles and a cleansing ritual will be helpful. We need to prepare sage or a mixture of various herbs, which by burning will remove the bad energy from our home. However, as with any ritual, the most important part is our action. We sit comfortably in the middle of the room, free our mind of all thoughts and begin to meditate. Once we have reached the right calm we begin to imagine a white luminous ball. In our mind we make the sphere as white as possible, as if by cleansing it we are getting rid of all the stains from our lives. Then slowly in our imagination we change the colour of the sphere to green.

When the process is complete, together with the burning herbs, we go round our home in an anti-clockwise direction. We have to go carefully around the whole house, slowly and carefully so that the bad energy drains out of every nook and cranny. The rituals must not be rushed. When we have done this, we extinguish the herbs and light an incense stick or warm an oil with the scent of lavender or ylang ylang and go round the house again, but in the opposite direction. This time our action is aimed at restoring positive energy. The right effect, however, will be when we do not limit ourselves to mechanical exhumation, but work with our mind together with this activity. We need to imagine the harmony that will fill our surroundings once the ritual has been finalised.

In rituals related to the desire to distance someone or something from us, we use the black candle, because it has this effect in itself. The simplest ritual is to cut that energetic bond that further connects us to the person who has left us. Unfortunately, this ritual is only simple in theory, as it requires a great deal of concentration and willpower - we have to clear our mind, meditate for a long time and then finally imagine this connecting thread and cut it. It is important, however, that we are really concentrated and that we properly visualise this action. Sometimes it will be necessary to repeat this ritual several times, or even more physically cut the bond. Instead of just imagining the act of cutting itself, we can cut it in the air with a pendulum or a rock crystal. The attributes must, of course, be washed with cold water afterwards so that they do not take on negative energy.

Therapist Colin Tipping suggests another way of dealing with a break-up, namely Radical Forgiveness. This is based on the idea that we will only be able to forget when we get rid of the negative emotions. So it is not enough to cut ties with a particular person if anger or regret remains in us, paralysing us from opening up to the future. We need to look at the hurt that has happened to us from a much broader perspective. There is a meaning to everything, maybe we will meet someone who will be the love of our life, which would never have happened if we were stuck further in a previous relationship. Every suffering is also a lesson that will enrich us forever, and according to karmic law, after suffering will come happiness. So there is no need to wallow in excessive grief, just accept that life is made up of both ups and downs.

Some people to get rid of their negative emotions shout, cry or throw things - it actually has a very good effect. We throw away what makes us angry in a short space of time and regain our composure after a while. A more subtle but equally effective way is to draw a mandala. A mandala is a symbol that is a combination of a circle - the transcendental, spiritual - and a square - the earthly, corporeal. The very act of creating a mandala in Tantric Buddhism replaces meditation. When creating a mandala, our consciousness comes to the fore and we should do it mechanically, not consciously choosing colours or a pattern, but allowing our emotions and thoughts to be reflected in the mandala. With each successive pattern, they will become calmer, and so will our emotions. However, we must not forget that creating a mandala is only half of the meditation - the destruction of the mandala is the other half. We burn the card with our symbol on it, so that everything bad goes away with the smoke. If you don't feel up to creating a mandala, you can simply write your emotions on a piece of paper and then burn it, in the same way you would do with a mandala. The effect will be similar, although weaker, so you will have to repeat the ritual more times.

It is also good to perform a ritual to console our broken heart, so not only cutting ties with our ex-partner, but fully restoring peace of mind. In this ritual there will also be a cutting of symbolic ties, but the main reason for performing it will be to regain harmony, so we will not use a black candle, but a blue and a pink one. The pink one is to open us the chance of a new love, and the blue one - symbolising contact with the beyond - will give us the support of good spirits in this ritual. We write the name of the person who hurt us on the candles, tie the candles with a green ribbon, light them and begin to meditate. Out loud we say goodbye to our partner and cut the ribbon. We meditate until the candles are all burned out, and then we bury their remains.

Each of these rituals is meant to give us peace and a chance to improve our lot. Probably the first emotion that will accompany us during the parting will be anger, but we must not give in to it. Trying to use spells against a person can turn against us, so it is better to use those rituals that will restore our inner harmony and bring us the reward of new love. In difficult situations, you can also always go to a specialist for help, in which case the effect of the rituals will be stronger and you will get the desired result much faster.